Trapped in Love | A Short Story
Hey, you!
Here’s an update on Kesia x Rocco.
*Please note, this content may contain spoilers if you haven’t already indulged in Yours to Bare.
In the meantime, happy reading! 💋
With love, ShanicexLola
(Copyrighted material)
Damnit.
Setting the pitcher of lemon water on the table, I stepped back and panicked. My hands trembled, and my heart raced, flaring my anxiety the more it vigorously pumped. Next to the wine I poured for him was the glass I'd failed to fill with water, drenching his white T-shirt instead.
“I’m so sorry. It slipped. I didn’t mean to. I—“
“Whoa, hey, chill.” Roc stood up, took his shirt off, and tossed it in the back corner of his dining room.
Only ten minutes into our night, the dinner and lingerie plans I surprised him with had gone to shit. He hadn't even gotten to dig into the food I picked up from one of his favorite Caribbean-inspired spots in Orlando, Bahama Breeze. Or the chance to truly appreciate me in the red-laced bodysuit that clung to my body like it was made just for me.
Rocco stalked toward me, and I held my breath, still panicking but now flustered over his muscular torso, towering height, smooth dark brown skin, and… my God, is that a fresh haircut?
“What’s going on with you today? I’ve been blowing you up on some thirsty shit, and you’ve been avoiding me. Let me in.” He pulled me into him, holding onto me firmly and gazing down into my eyes for answers. And if his intense, bright brown orbs weren’t enough to blissfully overwhelm me, his warm, rousing scent did the trick.
“What happened at work?” he asked, worry embedded in his deep, stern tone.
“It’s what happened before work,” I countered, then burst into tears. I laid my head on his chest and sobbed like someone close to me had just died.
Roc picked me up and threw me over his shoulder—nothing new about him handling my curvy body like I was petite.
Carrying me down the hall and into the living room, he sat on the couch with me on his lap.
“All this crying while you look fine as fuck in skimpy lingerie don’t go together,” he said, making me giggle. “What happened before work, Kesia?”
“Between all the traffic we’ve been getting on weekends at the lounge and work, I’m losing it, Roc. Don’t get me wrong, I love our business together and my job, but I also feel swamped, and it’s driving me crazy.”
He raised my hand to his lips, planting a kiss on top of it. “I understand you’re tired and need a break. Let’s come up with a plan to fix that. I’ve been telling you you need more rest for weeks, beautiful.”
“I know,” I whined. “Could you not be so sweet to me right now? It’s making it really hard for me to focus?”
“You need me to put you in a headlock or some shit?”
“Roc.” I sprang up from his lap and crossed my arms. “This is serious.”
“Then tell me what happened before work this morning, Kesia.” He brushed his hand down his face.
We’d been best friends far longer than lovers, so I knew he was growing impatient with my stalling antics. The truth was written all over his handsome face.
“Let me show you,” I said. “Be right back.” I charged down the hall and into his bedroom, where my purse was on his dresser. Pulling a ziplock bag from my purse, I sighed at the contents inside, then hurried back down the hall, returning to a worried and frustrated man who peered at me through low lids. Standing before him, I tossed the ziplock bag on his lap, then gnawed on my nails, ruining my gel manicure as I anticipated a reaction.
Roc looked back and forth between me and the bag, thumbing each of the six pregnancy tests inside.
“I had a panic attack,” I confessed. “I can barely juggle weekends at the lounge and work without wanting to scream and pull my hair out sometimes. How the hell am I going to take care of a baby? I’m gonna be a terrible mother. I—“
“Stop.” Roc stood, embracing me so tightly that my fears slowly diminished.
How the hell did he do that?
He was so good at it that it sometimes shocked me, leaving me speechless and guilty over my theatrics.
“Listen to me, Key…” he started.
“I always do.”.
“Nah, I need you to really hear me. Because you’re trippin’ right now.”
Growing defensive, I stepped back. “This is how I feel!”
“Don’t distance yourself from me, and stop pushing me away.” He snatched me into him again. Roc never came across as a threat, rather than a gentle giant. “Your feelings always matter. They’re valid, and they’re important to me. But I can’t sit here and listen to you say shit like you’ll be a terrible mother. I’ve been around long enough to know that you’re good at everything you do, even when you don’t fucking feel like it. Even when you’re being hard on yourself and convinced you’re on the verge of failing.”
He cupped both sides of my face, shaking his head and gazing into my glossy eyes. My sight lowered to his beard as I held back from reaching up and rubbing my fingertips over it.
“So let me remind you of the facts. You’re doing the best you can, and your best has always been more than good enough. It’s impressive if you ask me. You’re a damn good woman, daughter, software developer, sister, friend, business owner, cousin, fiancé… all that shit! All these hats you wear every day, never failing to show up for your people, is why no one hesitates to bend over backward for you. It’s only one of the reasons I’ll do anything for you.” He traced his thumb over my bottom lip. “You would be an amazing mother. I’m sure of it because I witnessed it in my dreams long ago before I accepted that I was in love with you. But if you don’t want—“
“I do,” I exclaimed, needing to reassure him before his mind traveled down a dark path. I saw in his eyes that the mere thought of us getting rid of our baby hurt him; I heard it in his voice, which almost cracked, that mentioning any other option besides keeping the baby would tear him down and keep him there. “I want a family with you, Rocco. It’s all I think about. Sometimes I even obsess over it, but we’re freshly engaged, and we just opened our lounge and—“
“And we’re just getting started,” he interjected. “If we want to spend our lives together and have a family, why aren’t we looking at this the same way? Why are you terrified in the worst ways?”
I dropped my head, but he lifted it quickly with two fingers under my chin. Yet another whiff of his potent, hypnotizing cologne made me squeeze my thighs together.
”I need answers, Kesia,” he said.
“I overthink everything. My anxiety gets the best of me sometimes, and I haven’t talked to my therapist in a while…” I rambled, stopping myself with a sigh.
“Depend on me when you need me, Key. But more importantly, take a step back from everything and put yourself first. Your spirit comes first. Hit your therapist up again. I thought you loved talking to her.”
“I do.” I wrapped my arms around him. “I guess I just got too caught up with everything and stopped talking to her and you."
Silence fell between us as we held onto each other, each of us lost in our thoughts while we swayed from side to side.
“We’re having a baby,” I whispered against his warm chest.
“I ain’t gon’ lie; I’m hype about it.” Excitement took over his deep, naturally intimidating voice, eliciting swarming butterflies in my stomach.
I looked up at my grinning man who had won, who wouldn’t have stopped until this was the outcome.
“You trapped me real good this time, huh?” I laughed.
“I did what I had to do.” He shrugged. “ You weren’t going anywhere, regardless, woman."
“I got lunch,” I announced, entering the warehouse with a greasy, brown bag of steak and cheese subs.
At the round conference table on the other side of the room, Winston stared at his laptop screen like it was his enemy, giving it a furrow-browed scowl that came into play every time one of our clients gave him a hard time. Investing in small businesses and ensuring they flourished was one thing, but dealing with some owners, who thought they knew everything, was another.
“I appreciate it,” he said, digging into the bag and pulling out one of the footlong subs wrapped in aluminum foil. “I’m hungry as fuck, and the owner’s daughter from Glenda’s Sweets won’t stop emailing me with random, bullshit ideas.”
“Didn’t they just get on our roster?” I sat across from him, behind the laptop I kept at the warehouse. “It’s a little early for that."
“Hell yeah, and she's giving us a harder time than our longtime clients ever have. I’m glad I only started their contract out for one year.”
“A year of that shit is still too much,” I murmured.
“Damn!” he mumbled with his mouth full. “This from the food truck a couple blocks over?” he asked, examining half of the sub in his hand like it was the best thing he’d had in a while.
“Yeah, Tasty Subs Food Truck,” I confirmed, then dug into the pocket of my jeans, revealing the card the owner’s son gave me. “I’m already on it, bruh.”
Winston nodded his approval. “Good shit. Hit them up in a few days and let ‘em know we’re interested in helping them expand.”
“Bet.”
Signing into my laptop, I checked my email and scrolled down the long unread list of small businesses interested in working with us. The annoyance of that came with the territory. We preferred reaching out to small businesses on our own after discovering them for ourselves. But word of mouth from the companies we worked with attracted them to us. Once they got ahold of our emails and phone numbers, it was a wrap. And they never stopped at one brother; they always hit all three of us up like that would secure them getting on board with us.
Minimizing my emails, I found myself on a random website, looking at baby clothes and cribs. I must’ve been smiling hard at the screen because Winston cleared his throat and gathered my attention. I looked up and found him side-eyeing me and rubbing over his beard with a sly smirk.
“You closed on a deal or something? What’s up with you and that big-ass smile?”
“Damn, a nigga can’t be happy?” I tried to brush him off, but Winston knew better than that.
“Yeah, aight.” He laughed.
Kesia told me not to let anyone in on the news until we hit the second trimester, but I couldn’t front on my brother—neither of them.
“Kesia’s pregnant,” I said. “She didn’t want me to tell anyone until we hit our second trimester, but man. I’m on a high that I can’t fucking explain right now.”
“Oh, trust me, I know that high, brother. When Aaliyah was pregnant with Ava, I didn’t know what to do with myself. Those motions are a real trip.”
“After finding out, I just wanna be with her. Hold on to her and rub her stomach n’shit.” I shook my head, then brushed my hand down my face, my smile fading away. “But she’s burying herself in work to avoid overthinking. No matter how much I try to reason or help her out of it, it doesn’t work. I realized that I just gotta support her and let her get through it on her own.” I sat back in my chair, looking ahead at Winston, who nodded.
“This is just the beginning, little bro. It’s her first pregnancy, y’all just got engaged not too long ago after being friends for years, and the list goes on. She'll be good once she wraps her head around her new reality and realizes you have her back. Keep doing everything you’re doing," he said. Like our Pops, he always knew what to say whenever I needed encouragement or a much-needed boost.
“I appreciate you,” I said, reaching for my sub after my appetite suddenly returned. “I needed that.”
“I got you,” he assured. “And congratulations, man. I’m hoping Trav and his girl are up next. We gotta keep building the Jamison legacy.”
“No doubt.” I chuckled. “What about Nora, though? You ain’t hoping she’s up next?” I quipped, knowing how overprotective he was of our sister. How overprotective we all were of her.
“Naw. Wouldn’t want her to be a single mother after I kill that nigga.”
“Touché,” I returned, tearing into my sandwich.
Pulling my vibrating phone out of my pocket, I looked at the screen, my eyes growing big at a text message from Kesia.
“Left work early. Come home to me.”
I knew exactly where to find her—at my condo, in my bed, watching old episodes of My Wife & Kids and laughing like she never saw them before. I pictured her in one of my T-shirts with body-hugging shorts underneath it, her loose curls in a tight bun with white dots covering her flawless brown skin. Lord knows I loved seeing her in that element—natural and pure.
“On my way,” I replied within thirty seconds of receiving her text.
“Catch you later, bruh.” I closed my laptop, wrapped the rest of my sandwich, and hopped up.
“I already know what time it is.” He laughed while standing up and walking around the table. He hugged me and said, “I’m happy for you and proud of the man you are.”
Amongst Kesia’s pregnancy that already had me in my feelings, hearing that from my big brother, who I always followed around as a kid and looked up to, warmed my heart, damn near choking me up. Fortunately, I kept my cool.
“Back at you, bruh,” I said.
Tossing a chocolate-covered almond in my mouth, I sat back against the headboard in Roc’s king-sized bed, flipping through shows on Hulu until I settled on My Wife & Kids. Across the room, above Rocco's dresser, the mounted 60-inch HD TV made the room feel like an intimate theatre.
Grabbing a pillow from his side of the bed, I inhaled his sweet and spicy scent and held it against me. While reaching for another chocolate-covered almond, I paused all movement and swallowed hard. My body jerked forward, and my stomach churned.
“Oh my God.” I charged into the bathroom, almost breaking down the door on my way in.
Dropping to my knees before the toilet, I hugged it and gagged. The sound that came from my throat was deep and monstrous. My heart raced, and my chest heaved, sweat beads forming on my forehead.
“Kesia?” Roc stormed into the bedroom as I tried to gather the strength to double back toward the bathroom door and lock him out.
“Please don’t come in here,” I cried. “I’m throwing my guts up, and it’s not pretty.” My voice went in and out, dry coughs forcing their way out of me as I tried to hold back from throwing up again.
“I’m already here,” he countered, his tone sure and final. After running water from the sink, he kneeled beside me. While patting my forehead with a cool, damp towel, he rubbed my back. “What do you need?” he asked.
“A bottle of water, please.” I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, watching him exit the bathroom from the corner of my eye.
Slamming the toilet lid when he was out of sight, I flushed it before running over to the sink and rinsing my mouth. Following, I splashed water on my face. It was bad enough Roc had come home and seen me like this, but the baby also hadn’t wasted any time letting me know that it was developing inside me, ready and willing to cause me hell.
“Your leg,” Roc murmured when he returned, standing on the threshold. He dropped the water bottle and rushed to me, accidentally kicking it across the bathroom.
“What? What are you—“ I looked down, my words caught in my throat as a gasp cut me short. Three thin lines of blood streamed down my right leg as I officially felt the effects of my black yoga shorts damped with blood.
I panted while trying not to freak out. To no avail, I shouted, “The baby, Roc! Oh my God, the baby!”
“Hey, just breathe for me, aight? You and the baby are gonna be okay. Everything is gonna be okay,” he assured, sounding calm and chill, as if he knew that as a concrete fact. And as I lost my balance and fell into his arms, my world spinning out of control until I blacked out, I believed him wholeheartedly.
Cold and uncomfortable, I fluttered my eyes open and sat up on an extra-padded hospital bed. Looking around, I quickly realized that I was alone. The TV was on but muted—an episode of Martin on the screen.
I looked around for my phone, purse… anything. But there was nothing but the hospital phone on a stand beside the bed, along with jell-O, a cup of water, and half-melted ice chips on a rolling cart in front of it. Pulling the cover back, I checked my leg for blood, but the thin lines weren’t there anymore. Instead, checkered, light blue socks were on my feet, my skin smelled like fresh vanilla bean, and a matching bra and panty set clung to me under my hospital gown.
“Hello!?” I shouted toward the partially open door.
A second later, Roc swung the door open. “She’s awake,” he said, hanging up on whoever was on the phone. “What’s up, baby? How do you feel?”
“My head kinda hurts, but I’m okay. What happened? How long have we been here? Did a doctor check me out? Is the baby—”
“Our babies are fine, but you passed out on me,” he said. Making room for him, I patted the space next to me. Roc slipped off his hoodie and tossed it on the chair with his phone. Fluffing out his T-shirt, he kicked off his shoes and joined me on the bed, pulling me close to his side as I laid my head on his shoulder.
“I cleaned you up before we left the crib and checked your pulse every minute before we got here. You kept going in and out, and the doctor said it’s because you’re exhausted, Kesia. You’re dehydrated and needed fluids, and we’ve been here for six hours getting you checked out. We’re not leaving here until that bag is empty,” he explained, nodding toward the half-empty IV fluid bag above our heads.
The disappointment in his tone made me look up at him. Roc stared down into my eyes and shook his head. I wanted to kiss the scowl off his handsome face, but I knew that wouldn’t work how it usually did in this instance.
“Nah, I don’t want to hear any excuses, and I damn sure ain’t falling for that puppy dog eye thing you be doing.”
“Fair enough,” I whispered. “What else was said?”
“They said spotting while pregnant is normal, but to be sure, they did an early ultrasound scan.”
Roc pulled an ultrasound photo from his pocket and held it up. Excited, I snatched it out of his hand and scanned it, starting with my name at the top and ending with all the other random numbers and letters on the side that didn’t matter to me. I traced my finger along the photo, gliding down to the mini arrows that pointed to…
“No freaking way!” I shrieked. Slapping my hand over my mouth, I stared up at Roc with wide, tear-filled eyes.
“Oh, you didn’t catch on to me telling you that our babies are fine?” He chuckled. “We’re six weeks in with two strong heartbeats, Key,” he murmured as tears fell down my cheeks. Smoothing his hand down my wild hair, he kissed the side of my head. “Can’t wait for our first doctor’s appointment. I’m ready for it all with you. But I need something from you in the meantime.”
I laid my head on his chest and wrapped my arm around him. “You need me to take better care of myself, I know. And I promise I’m going to. Not just for our babies or for you, but for me.”
“You almost scared me to death, woman. The fuck am I supposed to do if something happens to you? You know you’re my world. I’ve given you no doubts about that.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered against his lips as he leaned into me.
“Don’t be. Just do better, slow down, and take care of yourself while I take care of everything else, aight?” he asked, his eyes piercing mine.
“Yes,” I promised. "I love you, Rocco.”
“I love you too, Kesia. You’re my everything, so don’t take that away from me if you can control it.”
Once his full lips crashed into mine, I nearly melted into him. I felt faint again, but exhaustion had no part in it this time. His love overwhelmed me to a state of paradise that I never wanted to depart from or live without.
Finally spotting my sister’s car amongst all others in Daytona Mall’s packed parking lot, I parked in the closest space to her, five vehicles down.
Snatching my purse up from the passenger side, I locked up, then power-walked toward the door, smiling at the big-headed, wavy-haired girl whose head was down, her face stuck on her phone screen. Even from about forty feet away, I noticed her post-vacation, golden-brown glow. Ivy had been back from Maui for twelve hours, but I could tell she was still on cloud nine from spending ten days in paradise with her man.
“Heyyy, sis,” I sang, approaching her. We were dressed alike in black rib-knit tank tops, jeans, and pink Crocs. Somehow, we always managed to dress alike without a memo. We boiled it down to the fact that we were supposed to be identical twins instead of her being three years older and three inches taller than me.
Storing her phone in her pocket, she skipped over and threw her arms around me. I squirmed in her arms as she almost squeezed the life out of me. “I missed you so much,” she said before stepping back and rubbing my stomach.
I swatted them away. “Don’t be doing all that. It’s just a gut for now, ok.”
“Mhm. Doesn’t change the fact that my niece or nephew is baking in there.”
“Yeah, about that…” I looped my arm through hers and led us into the crowded mall. “Let me fill you in really quick.”
While she was in Maui, I sent her a photo of my six positive pregnancy tests the moment the results on the last one cleared. Waiting until she got back home to tell her the news was impossible. Hours later, she called me from one of the bathrooms inside her villa, whispering excitedly into the phone so Travis wouldn’t overhear her.
Pulling the ultrasound photo from my purse, I handed it to her, laughing as she held it close to her face. Ivy’s hazel eyes almost popped out of her head.
As I filled her in on everything that’d happened over the last forty-eight hours, I watched her go through the motions of being upset that I’d been neglecting self-care and overworking myself, to ecstatic that twins were growing inside me.
“I told Roc not to tell anyone until our second trimester. That goes for you, too,” I advised, side-eyeing her. With a quick motion of her fingers, she pretended to lock her lips, then threw the invisible key over her shoulder. “That means you can’t tell Travis,” I added.
“Girl, please. I’m not the one you have to worry about. Travis and his brothers act and move as one. You know this. Roc may not tell anyone else until the second trimester hits, but he will tell them.”
“You’re right. Who am I kidding? They probably already know.”
“Yup. Just like I do.” She nodded, smiling proudly.
“Oh my…” I stopped in my tracks and held my arm out in front of her. “Should we be worried about the type of men we’re dealing with? Did they follow us here?” I asked, a smile slowly curling my lips as I pointed and stared ahead of us.
Ivy followed my gaze, then burst out laughing. “They definitely followed us here.”
Headed toward us, the brothers we were in love with stalked out of Foot Locker with bags on their wrists. They threw their heads back, their pearly white teeth on full display as they laughed hard about something. We looked at them in shock. Actually, it wasn’t shocking at all; we were merely in awe. This was on brand for them; keeping tabs on the women they loved was right up their alley. Protection was the primary way they knew how to love us.
“Guess we’re too far from Orlando for their liking,” Ivy said. “It’s gonna be a long life of dealing with their crazy, overprotective asses,” she said, amusement and admiration standing out in her voice.
“Tell me about it.” I giggled, eying Rocco up and down—from the top of his haircut and freshly groomed beard to the outsole of his Jordan sneakers. The man knew he looked damn good. His bow-legged strides made me contemplate running to him, jumping his bones, and wrapping my legs around his waist. I loved when he carried me by holding onto my ass.
“I’m up for it,” I stated confidently.
With my whole heart and every breath in my body, I meant it when I accepted his proposal and promised him that I wanted to share the rest of my life with him.
Being trapped in love with Roc was the only place I wanted to be.
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With love, ShanicexLola.
*Fun fact: here’s the prompt that sparked this short story:
